Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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