Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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