do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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