i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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