OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
