Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
