..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
