Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
