Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Apparently you make a good broom.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize