i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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