On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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