Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
