She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
