can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
