Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
