he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he shaved USA in his pubs
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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