so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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