I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
