The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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