If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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