Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
