my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
