I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
