Michael Bay diarrhea
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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