my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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