Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
