Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
