I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
