I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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