yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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