the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
