found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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