dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
