JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
