problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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