sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize