If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
