Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
