OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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