So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
God, I missed his penis.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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