:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
