So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
