It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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