Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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