I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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