In the future we'll all be gay
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
