It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
