Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
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so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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