it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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