party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
