I smell stomach acid.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
