we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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