I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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