he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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