I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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