Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
