i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
