She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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