all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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