I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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