I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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