you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
