They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
