I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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