am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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