Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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